The Onion which bills itself as ‘America’s Finest News Source’ (1) ran an article this week called, "No One Sets Out To Be A Smooth Jazz Musician". I’ve long believed that smooth jazz lends itself to the popular music category because it is so easy for the average listener to enjoy. But it has long raised the ire of the professional musician because it is realitively easy to create and doesn’t really delve into some of the more complex aspects of the jazz genre.

So Michael Langello, who defines smooth jazz as, "watered-down instrumental versions of innocuous pop songs to audiences composed primarily of over-30 middle-class moms and their husbands" sez in this article,

"Look, I’m not going to lie to you. Nobody ever just woke up one morning and thought, "Of all the things possible in the vastness that is life, what I’d really like to do is play smooth jazz 250 nights a year." It just doesn’t work that way.

It’s not something you can plan for—it’s all circumstance, I swear: You want to play music for a living. You bust your ass paying your dues in tiny clubs with six people in the audience. You think about all the talented jazz musicians out there who can’t make ends meet and you start to worry. The next thing you know, your agent has you filling out forms to legally change your name from Mel Jablonsky to Michael Langello, and it’s seeming like a good idea. Then suddenly you’re 40 years old and you open up your dresser drawer to find nothing but linen pants.

But it starts so innocently. When you sign up for band in the fifth grade, you’re upset to learn that the only instrument left is the alto sax, but you decide to make the best of it. You tell yourself, "This sounds kind of cool, I guess, sort of." What you could never know is that at that moment you have taken the first step down the long path toward a highly lucrative spot in heavy rotation on every smooth jazz radio station in every dentist’s office in the country."

The king of the smooth jazz saxophone phenomenon is Kenny G. And speaking about him with love on such places as the Sax On The Web forums can get you marked as a rookie. As is the rep of The Onion this article is a very funny read, albeit painful for many ‘real’ musicians. :o)

1 – Props to David at Casa Valdez Studios for the pointer to this article. :o)