In the spirit of the season as well as the both ecumenical and controversy-doting spirit of this office, I offer the following:

Please accept with no obligation, expressed or implied, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

Also a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally-accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability or challenge, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual or clarinet/mouthpiece/reed preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher actually to implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first; warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. – Anon