“It can ( and indeed should ) be said that if you find listening to jazz fun then you don’t really understand it.

The whole point of attending a jazz gig is to demonstrate to your friends and colleagues that you’re a cut above the run-of-the-mill people who prefer to listen to more structured forms of music, and that your preference implies intelligence, courage, wit and sagacity.

Some listeners like to give the appearance of enjoying themselves by means of tapping their feet or nodding their head in time with the music. The careful observer will be able to spot the more experienced listener by the rhythmic patterns of their extremities – a newcomer will generally start off with tapping out the first and third beat of the bar with a foot whereas a more accomplished listener will favour the second and forth beats.

The hardened listener will intersperse a nod of the head with a tap of the foot, and in certain fast pieces or those with complex time signatures it can lend them the appearance of a barefooted man stepping repeatedly on a barbecue.”

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